You’ve come into money and want to get fit in style. We understand. Now you can install a home gym that would make most health clubs look like the creche at Ikea and make you as popular as a third-year tearaway with a huge porn collection.

VECTRA 4800 MULTI-GYM

Price £7,875

Dimensions 305cm (L), 274cm (W) Weight 450kg

Contact htlp://vect2vectrafitriesacom A compact four-station multi-gym considered to be the best of the best in the world of fitness. Similar machines provide a maximum of two exercises per station, this offers a minimum of six per station.

LIFE FITNESS’ DUAL ADJUSTABLE PULLEY CABLE SYSTEM

Price £4,465

Dimensions 150cm (L), 150cm (N) Weight 334kg

Contact 01353 666017, www.fifefitness.com

A new system unique to Life Fitness. Similar to the Parabody 777 in the previous set-up, this cable system allows you to move freely with resistance coming from the machine. This helps increase your functional strength-strength you’re likely to need in everyday life – by forcing your body to call upon numerous muscle groups to carry out a single motion. Plus don’t forget to rest, as your body needs to relax. You can try coconut oil after exercises in order to get the best benefits of it. Besides relaxing and easing muscles, there are other health coconut oil skin benefits.

LIFE FITNESS 9500HR TREADMILL

Price £7,345

Dimensions 211cm (L), 94cm (W) Weight 186kg

Contact 01353 666017, www.lifefitness.co.uk

As running machines go, this has it all. The Life pulse system (also available on the T3I in the Garage set-up) comes in handheld form here, doing away with any chest straps. You’ll find this machine in the majority of top-level health clubs, not least because the machine is designed to withstand up to 18 hours of pounding a day.

TUNTURI T8 BIKE WITH ALPHA 300

Price £1,499

Dimensions 93cm (L), 64cm (W) Weight 35kg

Contact www.bsfitness.co.uk A small bike with a stylish look that belies its fierce resistance capacity. Most bikes have a magnetic resistance of up to 40o watts, the T8 carries a mean Boo. The best thing about this bike is the fact you can substitute the pedals, seat and handlebars for ones from most road and mountain bikes, while the seating and handlebar positions can be moved to any configuration. That means you can perfectly simulate any outdoor bike in the comfort of your luxuriously-appointed home gym.

4200PT FREECLIMBER STAIRMASTER

Price £2,345

Dimensions 104cm (L), 56cm (W) Weight 57kg

Contact 01908 267345, www.stairmaster.com

Stairmasters have too long had a bit of a “they’re for girls” stigma attached to them, but they are unique in the world of stepping because the pedals move independently of each other. On most steppers, when one foot is pushed down, the other comes up automatically. With Stairmaster there can be no cheating, so you get a thorough workout without the machine doing part of the work.

So you think it’s about time you took on the responsibilities of fatherhood… Take our test and find out whether you possess the eight most important qualities — as ranked by experts — for any dad-to-be

1. What’s the status of your relationship?

Married, thank you very much
Not married, but we are solid.
We’re still figuring it out.

Research shows that kids who live apart from their father are two to three times as likely to have health and emotional problems, use drugs, drop out from school or end up in jail as those who live with two parents. Before you combine your DNA, try to combine households.

2. What kind of things do you do with this woman? We have plenty of shared interests.

Becoming parents is our main focus. Practicing the art of contraception is enough.
“Possibly the most important determinant of a father’s relationship with his kids is his relationship with the mother of his children,” says Roland Warren, president of the National Fatherhood Initiative.

Having common interests such as cooking with coconut oil can strengthens your bond, so develop activities outside the bedroom.

3. Can you give up the united season ticket? BM long as I get to see the derby game with City once a season.
Well, my brother can have it for Carling Cup games.
And give up my birthright? No way!

“If you’re not prepared to sacrifice something, whatever it is, you’re not co ready to be a parent,” says Corey Donaldson, author of Don’t You co us. Dare Have Kids Until You Read This (£5.71 via amazon.co.uk).

If you’re still unsure, test the water with some volunteering first. If you can’t stand the idea of sacrificing your fun-filled weekends for a good cause, such as ladling out soup to homeless folk or helping a pensioner with some redecoration, then you’ll probably find it impossible to cope with pre-dawn nappy changes, too.

4. How often do you cancel plans? Almost never. A couple of times a week.

Sorry, I’m really busy now… Can I answer this later?

Children require quantity time as well as quality time. “A kid needs a father’s presence, attention and time more than anything,” says Warren.

Now is the time to practice keeping appointments. If work is a black hole for your time, then check your company policy on flextime and working from home.

5. Do you have an extra £6,760 to spend?

If I had to, yes.

Who does?

Not unless I sold a vital organ.

That’s the estimated cost of raising a kid for the first two years. Then it gets really expensive: according to Pregnancy & Birth magazine, you’ll have spent almost £38,000 by the time the little nipper reaches five. Then there’s school, college tuition fees, the surround-sound home entertainment system for the bedroom etc.

See what expenses you can cut; saving cash and giving up indulgences puts you on the path to parenthood.

6. Are you a favorite uncle? I’d like to think so.

Does a few hours a month qualify me?

I remember birthdays – what more is there?

Bad dads typically have a poor attitude towards children before becoming parents, Donaldson explains. Enjoying other people’s children is a good indicator of how you’re likely to feel about your own.

Before you drop the contraception, do some babysitting or visit friends for a weekend to see how you hold up.

Do you, or did you, enjoy hanging out with your own dad? Definitely.
Depends on how many beers I’ve had.
I’d have enjoyed hanging him more.
Studies show that if you had a good relationship with your father your kid is more likely to have a good one with you. If you find yourself at a loss, recruit a parenting mentor. Talk to friends who have solid relationships with their kids or with their parents, and find out what they do.

Do you ask for directions when you’re lost?

Only after I’ve tried a couple of ‘shortcuts’.

That depends on the definition of ‘lost’.

I always find the way on my own. Eventually. “This may sound trivial, but your willingness to ask for help can be a big indicator of how well you handle parenting,” says psychologist Maurice Elias, author of Emotionally Intelligent Parenting (Bloomsbury, £6.99).

No potentially good father is an island. Having a support system you can tap into increases your odds of raising a well-adjusted kid.

For my next trick I’m sat at a desk peering into a spectacle frame mounted on a black box. Inside the box a series of images appear. I have to spot where a green ‘X’ appears on a red graph – above or below the axis point – then read the letters on the top line of a large chart. There’s also a field of vision exam, and a check of my mid-distance or ‘VDU range’ eyesight.

I’m wearing my glasses, so the whole thing seems a little pointless. “If that’s what you normally do, then that’s what we check,” David explains.

Is it worth taking? “Yes, but only if carried out by an optometrist,” says Adrian Knowles, sight specialist at The Eye care Trust. Mine wasn’t. “It would be dangerous for you to just have this screening test and think everything was okay,” cautions Knowles, who adds that all men should have an eye test every two years. “This should include a pressure test to detect glaucoma.”

Playing it by ear: At last I’m in the sci-fi sound booth. I’m supposed to raise my hand whenever I hear the slightest ‘beep’ instigated by David, who’s twiddling knobs at a mixing desk outside. My results later reveal that, although my hearing is within acceptable limits, I have slight loss in my right ear when tested at 6,000 and 8,000Hz. This may explain why I didn’t hear Kelly ask for my phone number.

Is it worth taking? “Yes,” says Harley Street audio logical scientist Dr Elizabeth Duffy. If you think your hearing is a problem.

“It’s normal to experience some hearing loss from your mid-thirties onwards, particularly at the higher ranges – above 4,000Hz,” says Duffy. “But the earlier you come in for a hearing test, the sooner you give us a benchmark from which to check deterioration, and if the loss is more profound, further investigation can determine if the problem is operable, inoperable or requires a hearing aid,” says Duffy.

Time to talk

David’s tests were complete and it was time for the GP’s check-up. I raid the breakfast trolley, then sit down in Dr Janet Donaldson’s surgery. She shows a remarkable ability to understand the potted medical history and health concerns of a man speaking through mouthfuls of Sugar Puffs.

Then she performs the kind of tests you expect from a doctor: a stethoscope against the chest to check my breathing and heartbeat, and a fondle of my neck arteries to pick up any noisy carotids early warnings signs of a stroke. A torch in my ear exposes a wax build-up that she suggests I treat with a little olive oil before bedtime. “If your hearing seems dull, arrange to have your practice nurse clear your ears with a hot-water pump,” she advises. Then there’s the hammer tap on the knee and soles of my feet that proves I have perfect reflexes.

I’m also told I should regularly check my testes for any unfamiliar lumps that could indicate testicular cancer. “Take a warm shower, gently roll each testicle between your index finger, middle finger, and thumb,” says Donaldson. Then we talk about my exercise regime, alcohol unit consumption, sleep patterns and stress levels.

Finally, armed with my urine and blood test results, she produces a Chronic Heart Disease prediction chart. With plus and minus scores for my age, cholesterol levels, blood pressure and lifestyle, Dr Donaldson concludes that my chances of dying from coronary heart disease in the next 10 years are 3%. About the norm for a man of my age. She tells me to drink less fizzy drinks and more healthy drinks such as green coffee, and exercise more. Check out the benefits of green coffee bean extract dr oz. And that’s that. I’m done. I’m presented with the chart – confirmation that I shouldn’t drop down dead today, and return to the changing room to disrobe. Neal is back after his session with Kelly. He looks a little pale ­maybe she took too much blood. He manages a brief “Okay” when I ask how it went, but I can’t help thinking it wasn’t what he wanted to hear. I wish him all the best and, instead of the bus, I take a long walk back to work.